Turning Thirty

Written By Kelsey Beebe

Let all that you do be done in love.

-1 Corinthians 16:14

Today I turn 30! It's kind of wild to think about, honestly. It has led to a lot of reflection on my part, so I thought I’d share some of those reflections with you: favorite quotes, books that changed me, ideas I used to believe that I let go of, things I dream of doing, and more. There are 30 in total, so bear with me. I pray that as you read through them, you see a reflection of yourself. Know that, no matter who you are or how we have found our lives intertwined, I am so grateful to be connected with you. You carry a piece of my heart.

With love,
Kelsey Hannah Peterson Beebe

5 Books that Changed Me

“We may act sophisticated and worldly but I believe we feel safest when we go inside ourselves and find hom, a place where we belong and maybe the only place we really do.”

-Maya Angelou, Letter to My Daughter

  • Rising Strong by Brené Brown. It was my first real introduction to her work besides her infamous Ted Talk. I can safely say her work has truly transformed my relationships, my ministry, and the way I move and lead in the world. The part of this book that has stayed with me the most is when she talks about the stories we tell ourselves. I won’t say too much more, because she can describe the concept far better than I can, but suffice it to say: I now use the phrase “The story I’m telling myself is…” in almost every situation where conflict arises. It allows for so much grace.

  • Playing Big by Tara Mohr. This book was recommended to me by my Spiritual Director in graduate school. It helped me realize all of the ways I minimized myself and, similar to Brene Brown’s work, transformed the way I show up in the world.

  • Letter to my Daughter by Maya Angelou. I was first drawn to this book by its title. One of my biggest wishes, as someone who lost her mom at a young age, is to have words of wisdom from my mother written directly to me. But reading this book, chock full of wisdom from one of the wisest souls to ever walk this earth, changed my heart in a way that is difficult to put into words. I ended up writing a massive paper on Maya’s work after reading this, and this book has lived on my top shelf ever since.

  • Love Poems from God: Twelve Sacred Voices from the East and West translated by Daniel Ladinsky. This book jumped off the shelf at me while walking through Powell’s Books one rainy day in Portland, OR. When I opened it up to a random page, it was a poem about God dancing with us. Within the book are poems from Rumi, Hafiz, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Tomas Aquinas, and other beautiful mystics. For over a year, I read one poem every night before bed and now it is my go-to when I need spiritual grounding. It is probably my most well-worn book on my shelf.

  • Amazing Grace: The Lives of Children and the Conscience of a Nation by Jonothan Kozol. I read this book in college and it absolutely changed me inside-out. I was doing research on the effects of poverty and racism on children and their education, and reading this book was just the beginning of changing my worldview, perspective, and the life-long work of anti-racism.

5 Scripture Verses that I Hold Close

  • “Let all that you do be done in love” - 1 Corinthians 16:14. This has been the verse I wear on my heart every day for as long as I can remember. When I was going through grief counseling as a four-year-old, I did a craft project that I still have on which I finished the sentence: “When I grow up, I want to…” with the phrase, “love people.”

  • Jonah’s Prayer in Jonah 2:1-9 when he is inside the great fish. I went through a particularly dark time in my early to mid twenties, and Jonah’s prayer got me through. It allowed me to feel seen: “the engulfing waters threatened me, the deep surrounded me;” and it gave me hope: But you, Lord my God, brought my life up from the pit.” 

  • “Let us not become weary in doing good” - Galatians 6:9. A beautiful reminder to keep doing good, no matter how weary the world makes us feel.

  • “Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.” - Proverbs 3:3

  • “You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart may sing your praises and not be silent. Lord my God, I will praise you forever.” - Psalm 30:11-12

5 Quotes that Guide Me

  • “Becoming actively antiracist is a practice. Just like meditation, mindfulness, and karate, it involves practice, and if you’re not practicing, you won’t change.” - Myisha T. Hill

  • “Don’t walk behind me; I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.” - I’m not sure who wrote this one, but it was on a poster in the bathroom at the church growing up. It was a teacher and guide for me in how to be a good friend, a good pastor, and a good Christian.

  • Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it. - Mark Twain

  • “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou

  • “‎Dancing is not just getting up painlessly, like a leaf blown on the wind; dancing is when you tear your heart out and rise out of your body to hang suspended between the worlds.” - Rumi

Bonus:

Why be moody when you can shake your booty?

5 Dance Videos I Love

5 Things I Used to Believe

Deidra Riggs is an author and leader I greatly admire, and she recently asked a question on her social media about how we would fill in the gaps in this phrase: “I used to think _____, but now I know _____.” It really got me thinking, and I decided to include some of my answers here:

  • I used to think racism only existed in certain pockets of the world, like in the southern U.S. Now I know that it is everywhere, including within me, and we all have a responsibility to change.

  • I used to think that voting in local elections didn’t matter as much as the presidential election. Now I know that voting in local elections is perhaps even more critical.

  • I used to think that everyone thought the mean things about me that I say in my head. Now I know that people are a lot more kind and compassionate than I give them credit for.

  • I used to think changing the world was impossible. Now I know that, as I change myself, I also am changing the world.

  • I used to think that there was an “us” and a “them” in various aspects of life. Like right and left in politics. Us and them, or those people. But now I know, there is no such thing as other people. Or, one of my favorite phrases: There is no such thing as other people’s children. As Bishop Desmond Tutu said, “I am because we are. My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together.” We are inextricably connected, and we all belong to each other.

5 Dreams I Have

  • I dream of having children, and being a mother someday.

  • I dream of writing books and devotionals that deepen, and widen, people’s faith.

  • I dream of speaking to people about a God whose love is expansive, inclusive, and transformative.

  • I dream of putting my toes in the sand and feeling the sun on my skin.

  • I dream of a world where everyone feels they truly belong.

Kelsey Beebe
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