31 Things for my 31st Birthday
Let all that you do be done in love.
– 1 Corinthians 16:14
Tomorrow (Tuesday, the 21st), I turn 31. It's a little wild to me that a decade has passed since I got dressed up in a gold sequin dress and went out with friends to celebrate my golden 21st birthday. I was doing so much of what I love - dancing all day every day, studying theology, working as a Resident Advisor (basically a dorm mom), and baking cookies and brownies several times a week.
My life looks a lot different now than I think I imagined it would ten years ago. I thought I'd be working part-time in ministry while teaching dance and yoga part-time at a university. I got to live that dream for a short time in my mid-twenties, before falling in love and moving across the country allowed that dream to shift.
Now, I realize that sometimes the things we pray for aren't always where God is calling us. I imagined I would always live on the west coast, but I have loved the communities I've found myself immersed in both here in Wisconsin and when we lived in Missouri. My mind and heart have been changed in so many ways, and I have seen the beauty of how beautifully God and I can collaborate in the creation of a life. This life I have now may not have been when 21-year-old me had dreamed of, but it is so much better.
In honor of my 31st birthday tomorrow, I put together this little blog post of 31 Things for my 31st Birthday. I share some books that have changed me, recipes that fill my heart and belly, quotes I live by, things I'm still learning, and more. Hopefully it's a quick read and you find something good there that fits for your life, too!
Thank you for being here, friends. I am incredibly grateful for you!
With love,
Kelsey
9 books I really loved and that left me thinking about them months later
Dear White Peacemakers: Dismantling Racism with Grit and Grace by Osheta Moore
Educated by Tara Westover
Finding Me by Viola Davis
The Body is Not An Apology: The Power of Radical Self Love by Sonya Renee Taylor
The Very Good Gospel: How Everything Wrong Can Be Made Right by Lisa Sharon Harper
Start with Hello (And Other Simples Ways to Live as Neighbors) by Shannon Martin
Unbound: My Story of Liberation and the Birth of the Me Too Movement by Tarana Burke
Rising Strong: How the Ability to Reset Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead and Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts, both by Brené Brown
The Art of Gathering: How We Meet & Why It Matters by Priya Parker
5 go-to recipes that fill both my heart and my belly
(with the caveat that my husband is the cook in our house, so while I can make a few of these, he’s the real chef and deserves credit!)
Turkey Lasagna - I adapt this recipe because of some food intolerance issues; I have to avoid things like garlic and onion (I know, it’s awful!), so I don’t put those in, and I use this pasta sauce from FODY Foods (we can get it at our local, more organic-based grocery store, Fresh Thyme). It is still absolutely delicious, and you can add things like chopped spinach or zucchini if you want more veggies!
Pan-Seared Salmon with Lemon Garlic Cream Sauce - again, we take out the garlic, but this recipe will really blow your mind. Highly recommend serving it with steamed broccoli and red potatoes (we like to make them in the air fryer so they’re crispy!).
Low FODMAP Turkey Chili with Sweet Potato & Lentils - if you’ve never heard of “low FODMAP” it’s a type of “diet” (I use quotes because it’s not about losing weight) that removes certain foods that can trigger digestive issues - like garlic and onion. But don’t let that scare you; this recipe is SO yummy and the perfect chili for a chilly day (see what I did there?!).
Baked Mac & Cheese - you can thank me later.
Skillet Veggie Quinoa Enchilada Bake - we recently had dinner with friends who are vegan, and that paired with my low FODMAP restrictions, made trying to find recipes we could all eat a little tricky. My husband discovered this and it was so good, I asked him to make it again the next day.
6 small businesses I really love
Simplified by Emily Ley - they have (in my opinion) the best planner around, and I’ve tried my fair share! I also love their legal notepads and use them all the time in meetings, and they have lots of other great products, too.
Mellow Dove Designs - a woman who attends my husband’s church just started this small, hand-made clay jewelry business and I have several of her pieces and love them!
BlueLand - we use this company for a lot of our household products! We particularly like their dishwasher and laundry tablets, as well as their tablets for household cleaners. We love that there’s zero plastic and it’s eco-friendly.
Nixit - this is a “period care company” that has menstrual discs as well as a few other products. I know a lot of folks who swear by them, and now I do, too!
Oh Happy Dani - while she recently closed her shop, she is an incredible artist and has a book coming out soon!
Lindsay Letters, Co. - if you’re a fan of art lettering or abstract art, Lindsay Sherbondy’s art at Lindsay Letters is truly stunning. I recommend waiting for her sales (as art gets pricy!); we have just a few of her pieces in our home and I love them.
5 Quotes I’ve Come to Live By
Let all that you do be done in love - 1 Corinthians 16:14
“You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your lips.” - Oliver Goldsmith
“I will hold myself to a standard of grace, not perfection.” - Emily Ley
“I used to pray that God would feed the hungry, or do this or that, but now I pray that he will guide me to do whatever I'm supposed to do, what I can do. I used to pray for answers, but now I'm praying for strength. I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things.” - Mother Teresa
“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” - Maya Angelou
3 Lessons I’m Still Learning
The value of setting boundaries; Brené Brown says that one of the most loving things we can do is set boundaries - that doing so allows us to live in our integrity and better love the people around us (because we’re not busy resenting them).
Letting go of busyness & hustle as defining my worth; I used to find my value in just how full my schedule was. I saw exhaustion as a status symbol. The more I was doing, the more exhausted I was, the more worthy I was. It’s taken me a long time to release some of that way of thinking and allow myself to see rest, joy, and play as just as valuable as “productivity.” We don’t have to be “productive” to be valuable.
Rest & play are not rewards for hard work; this is related to #2 in this list, but for me it has been a real shift in my thinking. I don’t have to earn my rest or the time I take to do things I love. And, I don’t have to rest in order to be able to work harder later. I can rest simply because rest is good and healthy!
2 things I’m really looking forward to this year
Becoming a mom. We hope to welcome our little one in just a couple short months and I’m excited to see how our lives shift and change. While I have a beautiful relationship with my second mom, Mary, and she’s been in my life a long time as my mom, I’ve always had a curiosity around the biological mother/child relationship, having lost my first mom to multiple sclerosis at age 4. I am sure it’s different to experience it as a mom versus as a daughter, but I’m excited to lean into it and learn, and come to know a new kind of love.
Continuing to grow and learn in this work! I love all the various kinds of ministry I get to do, and I’m excited to continue doing more. I’m excited to write more devotionals, preach more sermons, record more podcasts, and do more key-note speaking. Even as I take on a new identity as “mom,” I’m excited to keep living into my identities as minister, teacher, dancer, yogi, sister, daughter, wife, and friend.
1 thing I’m grateful for
The list of gratitudes could get really long, but what I’ll name here is that with every passing day, I am so grateful for the opportunity to live this life. Not every day is easy, but every day is a gift. And for that, I’m very grateful.
